Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Well... I'm headed down a good path... or something.

So while I'm sitting here bored in Colorado while the bother, I mean brother, plays COD, obviously I go to Stumbleupon for my time-filling needs. If you know me at all, you know this happens on a regular basis anyway. Stumbleupon is the greatest thing on the internet. While it gives you a heck-of-a-lot garbage, it also gives you an excellent amount of the intellect and creativity of the human race. Millions of people out there just waiting to be heard. I love it.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about.

No, I'm here to share an experience I've had with this intriguing and very addicting site. You see, there are a lot of websites out there that want you to live a better lifestyle, eat healthier foods, find better ways to travel, improve your personality/habits/resumes/anythingyoucanthinkofreally. Among these lists of things to do better than you already do sites is one I stumbled on today. "The 10 Best Foods for Your Looks." This was a new one. I've gotten the "foods to prevent cancer," the "20 healthiest foods/drinks for you" blah blah blah. But not this one. I'll give you a little rundown.

The 10 Best Foods for Your Looks

1. Tomatoes. Vitamins, antioxidants, Dr. Ozzy acclaimed, better than acai berry... the works.

2. Green Tea. Helps with cancer and anti-aging.

3. Broccoli. Best vegetable apparently. Good for eye health (including under-eye skin), arthritis, heart disease, and sun damage.

4. Salmon. Anti-inflammatory vitamins. Oh and it makes your skin glow.

5. Extra virgin olive oil. It has to be EV because the other stuff isn't pure... helps with heart and cholesterol problems.

6. Dark Leafy Greens. Vitamins and iron. Of course.

7. Walnuts. Heart health, and better brain functioning.

8. Blueberries. Vitamins, brain boosters, and FIBER WAHOO

9. Dark Chocolate. UV damage protection

10. Avocados. Heart health, vitamins, potassium, and things that make you happy or something. (There was an ad in my way of reading the entire thing)

So there it is. Now, I'm not going to go into detail about how half this list doesn't FULLY have anything to do with your looks except potentially keeping you skinny. But here's the thing. Most people look at this list and go "awesome, I should just start eating more of those foods." I look at this list and go "OH MY GOSH another list of healthy things that I DON'T EAT EVER. Seriously, this was the worst list I've seen for that. I got a little excited when it got to the blueberries and i thought "Yes! Fruit! I love fruit," then it occurred to me all too quickly that I do not eat blueberries either. So basically, what the internet is telling me is because I am A.)tremendously picky (though you have NO IDEA how much that has improved since childhood) and/or B.) low maintenance - I stick to the same foods all the time, I am in line to have a non healthy existence and will probably die of cancer by the time I am 38. Oh and I probably won't look healthy/good either. Literally every list I ever see is like that. Stuff I don't eat, that would make life potentially better for me.

Here's what I'm going to do about this:
-still gonna drink Dr. Pepper
-still gonna eat my chips and chicken like it's going out of style
-still gonna contain my stomach to the pea size it is to maintain non-excessive intake
-still gonna eat fruit because I love it, and it's the probably healthiest thing that's in my diet already
-still gonna maintain my current level of exercise
-maybe I'll start stretching more to help out my tiny vertebrae back there

I am a child.

I'm still okay with this realization.

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